


Needed to Lose You (To Find Me)

by PhoenixStar73



Series: MALEC 1 on 1 [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec chooses himself, Alec tells off his parents, Boys In Love, Episode: s01e12 Malec, First Kiss, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, POV Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:43:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21535411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixStar73/pseuds/PhoenixStar73
Summary: "I won't offer again," Magnus states vehemently after Alec rejects him that morning.And he doesn't try again.Alec doesn't know why he is feeling so empty. But it doesn't matter, because his wedding is in a few hours. It really shouldn't matter, right? He is doing his duty...-------"Stop.  I am not doing this." Alec Lightwood's firm voice suddenly rings out.  Everyone at the church freezes.  Izzy stares at her brother with undisguised pride.Season 1 episode 12 - how I feel this scene should have occurred.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood, Lydia Branwell/Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: MALEC 1 on 1 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1484501
Comments: 18
Kudos: 210





	Needed to Lose You (To Find Me)

**Author's Note:**

> So there was a song on the radio called "Needed to Lose You" and it inspired me to write a fic. This was the result. Enjoy!!

"I won't offer again," Magnus states vehemently after Alec rejects him that morning.

And he doesn't try again.

Actually, Magnus is apparently MIA for the rest of the day it seems. He doesn't show up to the meetings that he's supposed to. No funny text with suggestive innuendo on the phone, which would normally make Alec cringe, or even laugh at times.

Alec doesn't know why he is feeling so empty.

Or maybe he does. 

But it doesn't matter, because his wedding is in a few hours. And emotions are only a distraction, as Shadowhunters place duty above their heart...right?

He stands by the altar, looking at the door in the back that closed after the last guest had filtered in. When that door shut, it felt like it completely severed him from his old life. And that the door had slammed on his heart.

He's never felt so.. _.cold_.

And, no, he was not waiting for one more individual to come through that door. Not at all.

 _And, if he keeps telling himself that,_ he will begin to believe the lie he has been telling himself while standing here this whole time.

Here he is, standing across from Lydia, the one he was to start his new life with. Never mind that he should never have agreed to this to begin with...or to have entertained the notion of his future being with someone else. That someone else whom he insulted, and he was sure would never want to see or to talk to him ever again. 

Isabelle stares at the door as well, her heart in her throat, her heart breaking for her brother. As she musters up a smile for Lydia as she offers up the bracelet she is about to place on Alec, she thinks about an invitation she sent at the last minute yesterday, which most likely has remained unopened, or burnt by Warlock magic by now...

"Stop. I am not doing this." Alec Lightwood's firm voice suddenly rings out, making everyone in the venue gasp. He suddenly knows what he needs to do. 

And it doesn't matter if Magnus isn't here, or that Alec has pretty much destroyed his own heart by sending him away. He needs to do this, for himself, even if it is too late for him and Magnus due to his own stupidity. Even if he ends up destined to walk this Earth alone.

He's not going to live a lie. _Not anymore_.

His parabatai rune is glowing with warmth. Without even turning to Jace, his suggenes, he knows Jace is bursting with happiness and relief for him. He does catch Isabelle's gaze for a second, whose eyes are shining with unabashed pride for him.

He turns to Lydia. "I'm sorry," he says softly. "But I can't do this. It should never have gotten this far." He doesn't know what reaction to expect from her. It was careless of him to play with her heart, and her emotions. Still, her eyes do not show any disappointment, just empathy.

To his surprise, she nods.

"I know," she whispers, and she puts her hand on his. "You deserve to be happy."

He leans in to kiss her, tenderly, on the cheek in gratitude. Then he turns to the crowd, who are still wide eyed in shock.

"I am not doing this. It should not be our job to sacrifice our own lives and happiness to fix the mistakes our parents made. I am living for myself. You two, you live with the mistakes you have made." Alec is looking pointedly at Maryse and Robert, who are appalled and shocked, frozen in their seats in the front. They are not used to this new side of Alec, whom they had expected to be dutiful, to be their lapdog.

It's impossible to not be interrupted by the sound of the door in the back, suddenly being flung open. 

Alec's heart stops.

And there he is. _Magnus Bane. That beautiful man, s_ _hining like a beacon in the fog._

"What's that warlock doing here?" snarls Maryse. But Alec barely hears what she said. _  
_

_My warlock,_ he thinks.

For as long as Alec lives, he will never see a more beautiful, elegant sight. With wild, intense eyes gazing searchingly at the two at the altar. 

_Yearning._

_Want._

_Desire._

_Love_

_Apprehension in his eyes and facial expression._

This last look in Magnus's eyes -- that feeling, Alec wants to drive that away from his heart, forever.

Alec is hypnotized, drinking him in, feeling something like he's never felt before in his life.

And then Alec is bending to speak in Lydia's ear, and Lydia smiles wistfully. Then Alec's feet are walking him down the aisle, past disapproving eyes, past the haughty voice of his mother. Toward his life, his future, this beautiful man. _Magnus_. With every step, Alec feels his confidence soar, his head held high. 

It is a feeling he never wants to lose, again.

He grabs the lapels of this now very surprised Warlock, and pulls him in for a crushing kiss. It is everything he could have hoped for any more -- Magnus's lips are soft, his mouth and tongue pliant. They are in their own world -- swirling sensations of happiness, joy.

He pulls away from Magnus, who is still staring softly at him, in wonder. "I heard the last bits of your speech as I approached the door, Alexander," Magnus said softly. "I"m so proud of you."

Alec grins, and leans in to whisper in his ear. "Just so you know--"

"...you did it for you. Of course." Magnus finishes his sentence, in as quiet and ardent of a whisper. It sends tingles down Alec's spine, and a flush in his cheeks. It makes his blood sing.

"Yes, yes I did," Alec whispers. And then laughs softly, intimately in his beautiful Warlock's ear. "But...there is no _me_ without _you_."

"So, I did it...for _us_."

Magnus's glamour drops unexpectedly upon hearing that, and he seems to freeze one second after. The tough exterior Magnus normally projects suddenly seems so very vulnerable. Alec is staring at glistening yellow cat eyes as bright as the sun.

_He is mesmerized._

"So beautiful. You're beautiful," he whispers, tracing his jawline lightly with a finger. Magnus stoic look breaks into a gorgeous smile that takes his breath away. shoulders slump, as if relieved. 

He's the luckiest guy in the world, he thinks, pulling Magnus close to kiss him again.


End file.
